Alyssa (D - MO)

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:31:17 GMT

I can't believe I'm almost a college graduate. This shit is bananas.

O hai livejournal

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 15:59:36 GMT

It's been a while.

Week before last, I was in Texas for my last break as an undergraduate (scary). Now I'm back in St. Louis, attempting survival for these last couple months. We're working on A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer, as well as Take Back the Night.

Drag Ball is this weekend. That's probably one of my favorite things about my school. The only event with more people in attendance is graduation. We have pros and amateurs. It's all wonderful fun. Last year, I gave myself a beard and everything. I have a somewhat effeminate male friend who has agreed to let me make him up for it, and I'm looking forward to it.

Anyway, the roommate situation has quieted down considerably, I mostly just ignore him. Which is fine by me.

I went to see Adele in concert while I was in Dallas, and she was THE SHIT!

I had a party/barbecue for my friend Kara on Friday night that was most excellent.

Things are going fairly well.

I'll just leave this here...

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:01:38 GMT

...IDK...Ru Paul is the HBIC.

Incoherent with glee!

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:42:52 GMT

I passed the foreign service written test!

I'm going to try to be mature and not just type HOLYFUCKINGSHITOMGOMGOMG over and over again (whoops)!

Now I have to submit my personal narratives and wait to see if I'll be invited to take the Oral Exam. Oh, man, my heart was in my throat when I saw the email. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

First major hurdle down, several more to go. Oh joy of joys.

The grading process went REALLY quickly! I'm impressed with the apparent efficiency, dear government of mine!

3 days til spring break!

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:55:40 GMT

Oh I am so excited to be going home/getting a break from school. We finished up The Vagina Monologues on Sunday afternoon, and while I'm sad that it's over, it is a considerable weight off my shoulders. We raised over $1500 to fight violence against women and girls, so I am incredibly pleased. That's almost twice as much as we made last year.

The performances went pretty well. Opening and closing nights were the best (the latter being fantastic), and the middle was...odd. It wasn't bad, but the energy was just off, and people were missing lines all over the place. The audience was laughing/clapping at inappropriate times and not laughing/clapping when they should have. I don't know. Whatever. There's a lot I could say about individual performances, but I won't. Suffice to say that had I had absolute control, things would have gone differently, but then the beauty of the Vag Monos is that you have many different voices being represented. So, yes. It was what it was.

The afterparty on Friday night was awesome. I got pretty drunk, not gonna lie. I did not, however, act a damn fool. Oh, maturity.

I have two big finals tomorrow (like...HUGE), and then I'm basically done for the rest of the week (well, part TWO of the huge final on Friday, FML). I'm driving home (to Texas, YAYAYAYAYAYAY!) on Saturday morning, probably in tandem with James, his fiancee Matthew, and Matthew's grandma, as they are heading to Houston, and we figured since they were going through Dallas, they could just follow me. Good times.

I feel like I'm at a point where a lot of really cool/exciting things could happen, or just not. I suppose we shall see. I am v. v. curious about the future.

oic

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:07:11 GMT

Bobby Jindal's reaction to the President's address the other night...

...whut da hale?

I think that's all I have to say. Oh, and on a slightly unrelated but relevant note:

Dear racists,

Kill yourselves.

No love,
Alyssa

Hmmm

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 16:37:18 GMT

Well, ~drama~ has ensued with my roommates. The one whose dishes I so disrespected wants to move out because he found a place that will be available in March. But I mean, I can't imagine how in any situation that would be even remotely okay. There are TWO months left on the lease, and he knows we can't afford it alone. AND my other roommate just got laid off (thx, economy!), so it would be a totally dick move if he were to leave.

But now that we know he wants to move out, it would be an awfully awkward 2 months if he stayed. I'm trying to avoid him. It's childish, but I really don't want to have that conversation at the moment because my patience is virtually nonexistent, and were I to see him I would probably just curse loudly at him (WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! I'M GONNA FUCKING KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!).

Vag Mono rehearsals went pretty well last night, but I am exhausted. After the run-through we had to paint the whole stage black, but I brought a box of wine (lulz - I am the epitome of class), and the handful of us who stuck around to take care of that ended up hanging out afterwards until like 2:30 in the morning just talking/bonding. Women amaze me. The brutality against them does as well, in a less awe-inspiring, more sickening sort of way.

...once I get past the next eight days, I will hopefully be feeling more like myself. I'm just tiiiiiired.

Fuck my life.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:19:20 GMT

Today is the week from hell. It's only Wednesday. Goddamn.

Thankfully, I passed one major hurdle yesterday when I passed my senior overview. Whew. Now I can graduate.

Vag Monos are this weekend, so we're having rehearsals every night until then. And we have to paint the stage tonight. Oh joy.

Aaaaand I managed to royally piss off my roommate without even realizing it. I used his dishes (the horror), and they sat in the sink for a while, because I was waiting for him to do it as it was his turn. But I guess he's done doing the collective dishes. Which is bullshit because that's been the custom thus far. In any case, he scrawled an unnecessarily verbose and passive aggressive note on our refrigerator white board this morning outlining how NOT COOL and DISRESPECTFUL it was to use his stuff and then not clean it PROMPTLY.

Okay. I mean, I accept responsibility and all that. But come on. Whatevs, I was like, sorry my bad it won't happen again, etc. And it won't. But now I'm sure there will be ~drama~ and ~tension~.

It's essentially my fault, but I guess I didn't realize how anal he was about his dishes. Blah. I can't wait for graduation and moving the hell out.

OMG

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:54:13 GMT

So I had to go get my fingerprints taken today for my Peace Corps application, and the cop who took them was SUPAH FOINE.

It was awkward. It goes against my principles to be attracted to law enforcement officers. DAMN IT.

LOL WUT

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:12:48 GMT

I keep making entries and then deleting them because I get fickle.

Goddamn.

So Vagina Monologues are coming up in about 2 weeks. Crazy crazy crazy. It feels really good but really scary that it has basically been my production. Not that it's particularly hard, but I've put quite a bit of my love into it nonetheless.

We're having 3 performances this year instead of just the 1, so the pressure is on. I hope all that means is that we can get progressively better and that we'll raise lots and lots of money to combat violence against women and girls.

If you happen to be in the St. Louis area, it'll be February 27th & 28th @ 8pm, and March 1st @ 2pm in Stage III (directly underneath the Winnie Moore Auditorium in Webster Hall) at Webster University. Tickets are $5 at the door. It's gonna be good.

Let's see, what else? I've been hanging out with Denise a lot lately (hay girl hay), and that has been good for my psyche. The past few months I've just been stuck in a rut of going to work, going to school, then going home and vegging on the internet. It's good to have stimulating social interactions.

Let's make sure I don't break my non-disclosure agreement...

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:40:04 GMT

I'm terrible at judging how I did on tests, but I think I did pretty well. BUT I could have done badly, who knows, really.

The Job Knowledge portion was surprisingly easy, but there were a lot of seemingly-random questions on it that I wasn't expecting. Still. I had time to go through and double-check everything, and I know I caught a few errors on the second round, so that's good.

The English Expression portion was a breeze, but that's just because I'm OCD about writing, spelling, and grammar. I'd be surprised if I missed more than 2 questions on this section.

The Biographical information portion was a little more tricky, because I hadn't really prepared for it. I managed to do decently, but then at the end of the day, it's kind of subjective depending on what they're looking for. There's no real right or wrong answer.

The two essays were easy enough, but I got scatter-brained on the first and wasted a lot of time trying to make my thoughts cohesive. It didn't help that I didn't really feel all that strongly about the prompt, so my answer was lackluster. Not my best work.

BUT I think I did really well on the second essay. I mean, not to be immodest, but I obliterated it. Just sayin'. I felt very strongly about it, and had thought a lot about it, so I knew exactly what to write.

I'd had a gut feeling this whole time I was preparing to take the test that I was making it out to be a whole lot harder than it was, and I was right to an extent. I don't want to say it was easy, because it's quite possible that my perception of my performance could be way off. But it definitely wasn't torturous.

But maaaan, it feels good to be done with it.

(Oh, and I also did well on my Witchcraft in History exam. That I know for sure. Yesterday was pretty successful! YAAAAAAY!)

UGH

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:55:19 GMT

I have such a massive crush on Rachel Maddow. IT'S ABSURD. I mean, I love her for her brain, obviously, but...

Today is a big day

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:35:41 GMT

So what am I doing to prepare? Being lame on LJ and writing about inconsequential crap. Priorities? Please.

I've been really into Adele in the last while. She's all I've been listening to. I bought tickets to see her play in Dallas while I'm home on Spring Break. My sister's going with me. Should be most triumphant. I was so happy when she won those Grammys!

I have two major tests today. One is my first exam for my Witchcraft in History class (which is badass, btw). I'm sort of studying, but my attentions have been mostly elsewhere (you'll see why shortly). I'm hoping it won't be too bad at this point...I mean, I'll settle for passing, honestly. I can make it up elsewhere. That's not really like me, but c'est la vie.

My other big huge major test today is the Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT). OMG. So SCARY. I mean, I really shouldn't be freaking out, because it's not as if this is what I'm really going for. But hell, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious if I could pass on the first try. I've been studying my ass off for the past 2 weeks, so hopefully that will pay off somewhat. I've completely reread my US Foreign Policy current case study book from that course I took in Thailand. I know ALLLLL about North Korea and that damn Nuclear Test Ban Treaty (DAMN YOU HELMS, DAMN YOU TO HELL). And I've been studying the Constitution.

But I really don't know what the test will be like. So we'll see. I'm good at taking tests. I write good essays (or at least I bullshit good essays). I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to pass, but I will accept failure as well. This is just kind of a benchmark, I guess. But I've gone from just taking it for funsies to actually wanting it. Which is why I'm having a freak-out day.

And to top it all off, I've got Vag Mono rehearsals tonight afterwards as well. Yaaaay.

If I can make it through the rest of the week, I think I'll finally get to catch my breath.

lulz

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:35:23 GMT

Ohh man.

One of the professors at my job tends to sit in his office (right next to my desk) and mutter all manner of foul expletives within earshot of pretty much everyone. I want to know who it is that's always pissing him off! *Son of a bitch, you've gotta be fuckin' kidding me!*

I think he'd appreciate Bale-out. I should play it for him, y/y? I swear I've probably heard him say "We're fucking done, professionally" before.

LAWL.

He's a nice guy, though. Amusement.

Leave Joe Biden alone!

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:48:06 GMT

I'm getting really tired of the whole "Joe Biden is a loose cannon" meme everyone seems to be crazy about lately. It's just so absurd.

When Joe says something, it's usually the truth. Maybe it isn't filtered properly, and maybe it isn't always the most diplomatic or the best choice of words, but you can bet he's sincere and he's probably right.

The media just seems to love to play up this non-existent "rift" with Obama about his "gaffes". It's just unconscionable what they're doing. UGH. Stop making a conflict where there isn't one. I'm sure Obama picked Biden for all good reasons, despite his inability to self-censor at times.

Joe Biden is a decent, honest man, who cares a lot about this country and its people. I say that with full confidence, and I really think it matters that our leaders are sincere. Maybe he's a bit rough around the edges, but his intentions are good.

In short: LEAVE JOE BIDEN ALONE! Let the man be himself and stop acting like everything he says is the apocalypse. He's been a Senator for 35 years, I think he knows what he's doing. And despite my blatant sexual objectification of our dear Vice President, I'm saying this from a place of genuine concern. I respect him deeply and think his leadership and insight is important to our government, regardless of his gorgeous smile.

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:40:00 GMT

I am about to go OFF on someone. Today is not a good day.

My Vagina's Angry. It is.

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:28:52 GMT

So, I'm in my Intro to Cultural Anthropology class yesterday when we start talking about ethnocentrism and cultural relativism. My professor says that an example would be:

The terms:
"Female Genital Mutilation" = ethnocentric
"Female Circumcision" = culturally relative

I'm sorry, but I MUST take issue with that. I tried to argue it with her, but we were literally in the last 30 seconds of class, and no one wanted to hear my tirade.

She said the term "Female Genital Mutilation" implied a value judgement, and was inappropriate in anthropology. Fine. BUT.

To me, the term "circumcision" implies a clean, relatively safe, medically-centered removal of the foreskin of the penis of a male infant.

What happens in FGM is the complete or partial removal of the entire clitoris, or even labia, usually performed with broken glass or whatever else kind of unclean, unsafe instrument is around at the time.

Female Genital Mutilation =/= circumcision. Period. I don't care how culturally sensitive you're trying to be. It just isn't the same. Calling it circumcision doesn't make it so. It's trying to justify a cruel and inhumane practice that violates the human rights of millions of women and girls around the world. Don't fucking tell me it's "just culture". It's about restricting women's experiences, and destroying their bodies. It's keeping them in line so they don't cheat on their husbands, because god forbid sex should be pleasurable for women.

DO NOT fucking tell me it's "JUST CULTURE". I don't buy that bullshit excuse for a minute.

I would totally buy the example of say, not judging when other societies eat something we consider repugnant in "western" culture. Drinking the blood of animals IS culturally relative.

But literally cutting a young girl's clit off with a shard of broken glass is not "JUST CULTURE". It's misogyny, and it's abuse.

Of course, I think male circumcision is wrong, too, so even that comparison is flawed. That's genital mutilation as well. Just a less severe, less traumatizing brand of it.

But I really fucking hate my professor at this point. She's one of those people who tries to be ~*shocking*~ so as to make her students uncomfortable. She's just sooooo ~*edgy*~. And totally was trying to make me look stupid in my response to her. Um, no.

Listen, lady, I'm an anthropology minor, and I am by NO MEANS ethnocentric, but I am also a Human Rights minor, and I WILL fight you on this. There are some elements of "culture" that are unacceptable by ANY standard. I mean, almost no one would be a genocide apologist, but certainly that has been a part of some societies' "culture" as well.

UGH I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. And I guess this is kind of ~*controversial*~ as well, so take it as just my opinion. Naturally. Goddamn it.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:36:55 GMT

Oh my god this weather is insane. I want to die.

I'm not ok with snow/ice unless I am indoors with a hot beverage or skiing. I am from Texas. This is NOT how we roll.

But I still drive better than some of these idiots, which surprises the hell out of me.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffff

What am I doing with my life?

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:50:10 GMT

So I got a call from my peace corps recruiter, and she tells me that although I have a "competitive" application (whatever that means), all of the programs that I qualify for have been filled through January of 2010. So, while I'm still interested, that's a long way off. And probably would mean movin' in with one of my parents in Texas in the interim. OK.

So instead I think I'm going to really push for the Foreign Service. I don't know why. It doesn't make much sense, and it's probably impractical timing, but what the hell. Why not? And hey, I'd get to work for Hillary Clinton (and Obama - YAY!) at the State Department. What's not to like?

This is all assuming that I pass the ridiculously hard two-part test that most fail several times before passing. I've gotta keep it real.

But I might pass. Who knows. I'm not going to put all my proverbial eggs in one basket (as I've done so many times in the past), but it's not wrong to hope. I've just got to study and believe.

In other news, Vag Mono is starting up, and while this excites me, it also makes me dread being alive. I really really hate some of the pieces and the way Eve Ensler writes. Like, LOATHE. But I still love the play and think it's life-changing and warm and fuzzy and all that business. It makes sense to me.

AND we're going to do A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer in Spring II.

FUCK MY LIFE.

...in a good way?

Ahhh, life!

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:21:08 GMT

So, here's what my plans are:

1) Graduate (obvs) on May 9th.
2) Move out of my house in Webster Groves (by the end of May).

...and from there, the possibilities are painfully varied.

I could either:
1) Get my own apartment in the STL area and get a shitty job to pay my bills while I work out my next step.
-Pros: Privacy, independence, ability to unplug for a while, ability to must make some damn money and not worry about 12-page term papers.
-Cons: I have no money or plans, and that leads to hopelessness and apathy. No good. Plus, the odds of finding a job around here that wouldn't absolutely kill me are slim to none. And then, what about my social life?

2) Move back to Texas for a while and stay with my Mom or Dad and get a shitty job while I work out my next step.
-Pros: I wouldn't have to pay rent, utilities, or anything, because my parents are the bomb. I'd probably want to live with my Dad because there's more space and less constant supervision. Also abundance of groceries that I'm sure I could eat without paying or replenishing. I could spend time with my family/remaining few friends in the DFW area.
-Cons: Um, it's moving back home after graduation. Shitty job would suck. Sense of aimlessness. See above.

3) Join the Peace Corps. I've applied, and am now starting the waiting game.
-Pros: Another 2+ years to figure out my life, fulfilling work, travel, adventure, $6000 once I get out, and another few years for the economy to stabilize before I have to enter the real job market.
-Cons: It could take up to a year for me to actually leave on assignment, so I would still have to be somewhere in the interim, probably Mansfield. It's possibly 2+ years away from everyone I know and love, as well as the Waffle House.

4) Try for the Foreign Service. It's been a goal of mine for a long time, and I've just registered to take the test on February 12th.
-Pros: Excellent pay and benefits ($40,000+ and HEALTH INSURANCE), job stability, fulfilling work, travel, adventure, actual career-path, moving to DC - then abroad, and something that fits exactly into what I've been studying for the past 4 years.
-Cons: If I, because of some miracle, pass this test and manage to make it in on the first try (lol, not fucking likely, but humor me), I would have to start my career NOW with zero time to fuck around before getting all srs bsnss with life. I kind of want some fuck-around time, y'know? I'm only 21.

5) Grad School. I'm going to do it eventually, it's just a question of when.
-Pros: Another year in school to figure out my life/put off paying back my student loans, gaining an edge in the job market, travel, learning, etc.
-Cons: FUCKING EXPENSIVE AS SHIT GODDAMN.

...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIIIIIIFE! *whine*

Right now the Peace Corps seems to be the best option. But if I do well on this Foreign Service test, I'll keep my options open. And if all else fails, I'll move back to TX and get a job and live with my Dad. Oh well. That wouldn't be all that bad. UGH.

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 03:02:28 GMT

Oh Jesus, I can't stop watching crappy VH1 Reality TV. Rock of Love Bus, especially. Trashy bitches fighting over equally trashy douche Bret Michaels. It's just too much.

But, I mean, the girls are absurd, but Bret is just as bad. He's a washed-up has-been with ISSUES. You know what, at the end of the day, all Bret will have is his booze and diabeetus. Like he really wants to find love.

Those girls are grosssss. And Brittaney clashin' with Natasha bein' like "You're only here 'cause you're BLACK!" and then crying hysterically like, "You're calling me a racist?! My grandfather is black! He is a beautiful black man! I am not a racist!"

LOL okay bitch. Natasha is waaaay hotter and generally better anyway.

BUT I CAN'T STOP WATCHING!

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 06:58:29 GMT

OH MY GOD I HATE SARAH SILVERMAN.

She is the definition of unfunny.

LOLOLOL AIDS JOKES ARE HILARIOUS.

Her "show" is almost physically painful to watch.

derp derp derp

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:59:46 GMT

I just had two fillings this morning, and I want to die.

My mouth is absurdly small, and having my jaw pried as far open as possible (not very) for so long is taking its toll. Insert crass innuendo re:fellatio here. Ha.

I have a 530 page book to read for my senior overview in spring, and I don't even have it yet. I don't have to have it read and processed for another 2 months, but we're having preparatory sessions very soon, so I'm going to have to cram.

But otherwise, life is v. good. I will soon return to the STL for my final semester, and pray for calm. Well, not pray. I don't do that.

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 05:23:06 GMT

I got a goddamn paid account after all this time after I decided I couldn't deal with ontd_political without the expand comment option.

So shit, I guess I better start updating this journal. I'll get right on that...tomorrow.

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 03:57:40 GMT

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world turning inside out Yeah!
And floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

I'm burning through the sky Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('cause I'm havin' a good time)
Don't stop me now (yes I'm havin' a good time)
I don't want to stop at all

I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

I'm burning through the sky Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

Don't stop me don't stop me
Don't stop me hey hey hey!
Don't stop me don't stop me ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Don't stop me don't stop me
Have a good time good time
Don't stop me don't stop me Ah

I'm burning through the sky Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('cause I'm havin' a good time)
Don't stop me now (yes I'm havin' a good time)
I don't want to stop at all

College is fun. And I love this song more than is healthy.